Family is an interesting thing. Here we are, placed together in life with people who are meant to be the closest to us, and it's not always clear why we were put together this way. There's the family we choose, and the family we don't choose, woven together with all our strange similarities and differences. And there's always that family member that walks a different path, and is not understood by the others. Maybe you're that family member.
Sometimes, even when you're at odds with others, you can also open doors to healing and strengthening relationships with your loved ones. How can you do that without sacrificing who you really are?
Before we answer that question, I'd like to tell you about a family member who played that healing role, and helped me start to play it too.
I never got to know my great-uncle Norman. But a few years ago, I learned from my dad that he was a numerologist, and a pretty spiritual guy. He frequently traveled to India to study with a guru, and wrote books on numerology that received international acclaim.
After a failed attempt to get in touch with him, I started reading one of his books, and tried to learn his methods, which involved using the letters in someone's name to figure out their strengths, weaknesses, and hidden talents. I didn't get it at first. How could a person's name say so much about them? I followed Norman's instructions, creating a numerology chart for myself and then my dad. Neither one made sense to me or him. Of course, it didn't really help that my dad didn't "believe" in numerology.
From what I know about Norman, he was kind of like me - a black sheep of the family. After he passed away last year, a couple of my family members said they would always remember and admire him as a "cursebreaker", someone who went against the norm (pun intended), but in a good way. He had chosen a spiritual path, not because of his upbringing, but out of a desire to change the destructive habits he had learned.
It's all about family
I ended up loaning Norman's book to my friend Carol, who called me up one day to say how healing it was for her. "Really?" I said. "It didn't do much for me."
"Oh yes," Carol insisted. "I did the chart for myself, my brothers and mother. It really helped me understand the differences between us, and why we're always at odds with each other. The numbers make so much sense."
OK, I thought. Maybe I'll give it another try. After all, like Carol, I often find myself at odds with my family. If I tried doing the charts again with the intention of looking into the relationships in my family, maybe they would make more sense.
It actually worked. Looking at my chart alone, it was hard to see what it was telling me. But comparing it to the charts of both my parents and my sister, I had some very important insights. One was that while the number 5 - which rules impulsivity, sensory experience, and communication - was strong for me, my sister and my father, it was weak for my mother, who also lacked the number 4, which stands for grounding and practicality.
No wonder, I said to myself, thinking of all the times she would react so harshly to things we did that to me seemed trivial. She was probably finding herself ungrounded by how unpredictable we all were. Now, with that awareness, I'm able to be more compassionate and careful about my tendency to act out of control.
Another thing I noticed was that I have one 7 in my chart, and everyone else in my immediate family has no 7s at all. Seven stands for boundaries, which have always been tough for us. I realize that if I am to establish a healthy relationship with my family, I must be responsible for my own self-discipline and setting my own boundaries.
On the positive side, I noticed that all of us have exactly two 8s in our charts. Eight stands for power, fate, and the ability to look at the unconscious mind. That shared energy gives me hope for a way we might be able to bond and see eye-to-eye.
Whether I was to "believe" in this system or not, I couldn't deny that it had presented me with a golden opportunity to examine my own strengths and weaknesses in the context of how I relate to my family. It turns out numerology is all about relationships. (Which is funny, because that's the same thing I always said about math. It's true about music, and language, and pretty much anything.)
My intention to bridge the gaps in my family relationships turned out to be satisfied, and the door was opened for healing insights and revelations - all thanks to Norman, the family cursebreaker, to whom I owe lots of gratitude.
How do I bridge the gap?
Are you at odds with someone in your life? Maybe a family member or an old friend with whom you wish you could see eye to eye, just for once? Maybe you walk a unique path in life, different from what was expected for you. Maybe you have talents or personal beliefs that not everyone in your life can understand. Even if you're not quite ready to heal your relationships with certain people, there are still steps and opportunities to open the door and ease some of the disharmony you're experiencing.
1. First of all, remember that you, and you alone, are responsible for defining yourself. Your own strengths and challenges, your special talents, your needs and your path in life: they're yours to decide, and no one else has the power to judge you.
The same holds for everyone else in your life. When you judge others and try to define who they are, chances are you're not seeing the whole picture. When we take on the responsibility of dictating our own lives, letting go of the need to change others, amazing things can happen.
Even if others might be judging or trying to control you, the very act of you taking back your power is strengthening, and allows you to depend less on what others think - even though, of course, it'll still be hard at times, especially when the people involved are close to you.
2. Recognize your strengths and challenges, and those of others, with compassion. Everyone has talents that are unique to them. And likewise, everyone has vulnerabilities and so-called weaknesses. And although they might be inconvenient at times, they are part of who we're divinely meant to be. Before looking at others, take inventory of your own unique qualities, and where you might fall short, all with a loving and kind heart. When you are more able to love yourself, with all your strengths and shortcomings, it becomes a lot easier to love others the same way.
We all need each other. No one can live this life completely alone. And truthfully, it's our vulnerabilities and flaws, more than anything, that make us so lovable.
3. Take it one step at a time. Doing numerology for myself and my family didn't heal our relationships overnight. In fact, there is still a lot that needs to be healed. Even if you think you're "supposed" to have a great relationship with others in your life, and you feel tempted to push yourself to get there faster, we can only really heal in ways that feel natural and safe to us.
The opportunities to heal, little by little, will be shown to you as you're ready for them. Let those steps be baby steps if that's what you need. Honor your own well-being and safety above all, and opportunities will continue to arise.
Interested in numerology?
If you're curious to know more about how numbers can be used as a tool to heal relationships with yourself and others, I invite you to check outNumerology Level I, a distance course that I'll be running for the first time in March.
This course is a truly unique and rich experience of numerology, where you'll get to know numbers as your friends and healers. We'll go more in depth with Norman's grid method, and give you valuable tools you can use in your personal life and your intuitive and healing practices.
Taking the course in March will allow you to pay a reduced rate of $85, which will go up to $105 in the future. Also be aware that the class size will be capped at ten people, to allow a high level of personal contact and attention for everyone taking the course. So if this sounds engaging to you, be sure to sign up as soon as you can!
>>Click Here to Check Out the Numerology Level I Course
With love and blessings,
kx
