When someone else's pain triggers fear in us, we turn inward and start erecting walls. We panic because we feel we can't handle the pain. Sometimes we should trust this panic as a sign that we aren't yet ready to open so far. But sometimes instead of closing down or resisting we might have the courage to do something unpredictable: turn our attention back toward the other person. This is the same as keeping our heart open to the pain. If we can't shift our attention, perhaps we can let the story line go and feel the energy of the pain in our body for one second without freaking out or retreating. However, if none of these is yet possible, we engender some compassion for our current limitations and go forward.