Speedy Mind, Busy Mind: How to Generate Healthy Desire and Appreciation

In this post we discuss important pradigm shifts that help us overcome persistent obstacles to our happiness and creativity. These shifts and other insights will be presented in depth in our upcoming webinar, Dissolve Your Limiting Patterns With Ease.

I have often described how an ordinary challenge can present the opportunity to release tension and negativity if we shift our focus from achieving a desire to practicing appreciation.

We often assume we have to know the "right" techniques in order to do away with feeling scattered and stressed. (Who doesn't have a desire to do away with that feeling?) If we believe that we can't do the techniques right, or remember the proper procedures, our frustration for not satisfying our desire for relaxation can cause us even more pain.

Consider what might happen if, instead of using techniques to satisfy a specific desire, we focus on doing the techniques with appreciation for them and for ourselves in relationship to them. Practicing appreciation can often lead to satisfying our desire effortlessly, without us taking any direct effort to satisfy that desire.

For example, a business executive discovered that appreciating his abundance and the collaborative efforts of those with whom he worked, instead of focusing exclusively on desired results, reduced his stress and made it possible to feel renewed and joyful at work. And to get better outcomes!

Another business executive shared that practicing appreciation at home dramatically reduced his stress and made him more friendly, allowing his teenage child to approach him and give him a hug, even though the two had been estranged for a long time!

What is the mind like when it is pursuing desires. Is it not speedy? Thoughts go by so fast it's hard to keep track of whether they make sense and yet the speed of thinking itself is so compelling, crazy ideas can command us, even when we know better. Have you ever said, "I knew better intellectually, but I couldn't help myself."?

I hear this all the time in my counseling sessions. I invite my clients – and I invite you – to give up this idea of "knowing intellectually." This is my challenge to you:

Foe one month, contemplate the insight that, if you know something, that means you can act on the knowledge productively. If you can't take action toward productive change, then admit that you don't know what it is you need to know! Don't get stuck indulging in the deluded thought "I know that intellectually." Focus couragously, with curiosity, on the dilemma of not really knowing.

If we lack the courage and cuiosity to investigate our "not knowing." we often settle for the consolation prize of "at least I know it intellectually." It seems comforting, but it really isn't because it carries the stress of self-deception. If you give up this false knowing and instead focus on the dilemma of not knowing what you need to know, then you can keep your mind focused on the dilemma. Keeping your feet to the fire, so to speak, inspires your mind to find creative solutions.

At this point, many people tell me, "But I lack self confidence." They don't believe they will come up with a solution. The antidote to this fearful thought is to let go of success and failure: stop and relax into "not knowing." "Not knowing" is darkness. It is also moist and fertile like soil. When you stop and rest in "not knowing," you plant your mind like a seed in the soil of the challenge facing you. Then you wait like a farmer waits, calmly, with faith, for the sprouts to appear as you go about other business. What would happen if a farmer went out every day and dug up the seeds he planted to see how they were doing?

Like the farmer, we learn to trust the soil of our subconscious mind. It is crucial to wait in the darkness of "not knowing." Too often our schooling and parents have convinced us that we didn't have permission to wait fearlessly and vigilantly in a state of "not knowing." They demanded that we know, and the sooner the better! This unnatural demand broke our connection to the organic way in which our creative intelligence meets challenges and solves problems.

Practice this month focusing on a problem with the question, "How can I relate here to produce the highest benefit?" Focus on the problem with this seed question in mind for one minute as you breathe and relax. Then let it go and go about your other business. If desire comes in the form of fearful, anxious thoughts and concern, stop, relax into "not knowing," and plant the seed question again for one minute as you breathe and relax. Focus you energy on this practice instead of letting your energy go into anxiety that your desire may not be satisfied.

Be attentive to messages from your small inner voice. When it's ready, like a seed beginning to sprout in the darkness of the soil, it will speak to you. Be willing to be surprised by what it may tell you or invite you to do. Before going to bed is a great time to plant such seeds. If you do, it is common to have significant educating dreams or to wake up with solutions.

And join us starting this Wednesday, February 26th, for our webinar, Dissolve Your Limiting Patterns With Ease We will explore many wonderful ways too set ourselves free!

Good luck!