By Ariana
SkyHorse Ranch
People often ask me, "How do you do you do everything you do?" I say inquisitively, "I don't know, I ask myself the same question."As I have been studying myself under the microscope during my healing, looking for clues to how I manage (or rather accumulate) stress, I figured out that I actually steal time. I've done this for as long as I can remember. I literally cheat time. I've always been able to get the job done 'faster' than almost anyone, and can do significantly more tasks in an hour, in a day. Even I could not figure out how I accomplished this.
Well the other day I actually saw myself do it. I awoke in the morning with my usual robust, if not virtually impossible, to do list. Even I thought to myself, "Well, isn't that way too ambitious? Aren't you supposed to be 'taking it easy'?" And the wild me happily replied, "Of course!" It wasn't until a couple of hours later that I learned that I have actually prided myself on this ability for a long time. It's like a game, and now I call it Stealing Time. (Notice my past tense here?)
So, I'm sitting at my desk with 3 large piles of papers & bills (that keep falling off the desk because they are so tall) for our 2 businesses, 3 properties, legal applications surrendering our jurisdiction rights for our pond (that has been here since before the 1950's) over to the Division of Water Rights, after being defeated by them, and trying to call the IRS to see why our online application for a pin # for our employees is not going thru (5th attempt), and trying to contact a web person (any web person) to help us get the Valley Ford Wool Mill site back up because it is showing a FORBIDDEN sign, oh and don't forget the 2nd Annual Wool Festival coming up, and I'm just 2. 5 months post radiation, Kathleen's husband passing unexpectedly, and Hallie's mother in law passing on this very day I am sitting in front of my pile, trying to steal time. Oh, and then a good friend happens to drop by with some business and I am both simultaneously happy to see her and silently realizing that my bluff has been blown.
Breathe.
Breathe again.
That is what I am learning.
I take big deep breaths and fill my whole lungs with wonderful oxygenated air, and I thank the air. A little disappointment crosses my brow. "Shit, I failed today. I'm not going to get everything done that I not only want to get done, but I have to get done, today." "Well what were you thinking, silly?" I say to my wild child. And then I saw my strategy for stealing time, it goes like this—make a ridiculously over ambitious to do list—do at least 3 of them at the same time (on the phone with IRS, while filling out paperwork, and waiting for my computer to go online or answering emails) that is how I steal time. Sometimes. This strategy sometimes doesn't work.
The other thing I am learning is that maybe it is no longer such a great strategy. Because if I keep stealing time, I am literally cheating my lifespan. What a concept. So if I want to live another 50 years, then I have to change my strategy. That's a biggy. Stay tuned….
